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Question:
Fear of intimacy because of my denture: I am 32 years old, and I have a top denture.
I am extremely self-conscious about having it. I am recently divorced, am lonely, and would like to start dating. The problem is that I'm terrified to date anyone, for fear of them kissing me and realizing that I have a top denture.
It's so frightening to me, that I will not date anyone. Is there any way that someone can kiss me and not notice that I'm wearing the denture? What is your advice to someone in my situation? I feel so isolated and alone.
It's literally keeping me from having a social life. I can't bear to have to tell someone that I have the denture. I'd rather stay alone than to have to tell my date about it. ...Visitor from NY
Answer:
I sympathize with your situation, but remember that things could always be worse.
Every woman has things about her that she wishes were better and I'd rather deal with a denture than a lot of other problems. Also, men have things that they wish they could change.
So, everybody has fears of rejection for physical reasons. Most of them end up being not so important as an impediment to friendship that may become something more.
Your denture may force you to go slowly into a relationship until you are somewhat comfortable admitting that your have imperfections. By that time you will know some of the other person's imperfections, too.
I have made dentures for a 21-year old girl and a 28 year-old woman. Both are not married; one divorced soon after we made her denture, and both are very happy to have teeth that are not decayed and hurting. One couldn't wait to have her picture on my website so she could show all of her friends the before and after photos.
That being said, there are ways to have a denture that isn't really a denture.
4 upper implants can support a rim of teeth that snap into the implants with no need for acryllic on the palate or much in front of the teeth. This would be a situation where you could kiss and not tell. This is a very expensive procedure which would require placement of the implants, a healing period of 3-4 months, and then fabrication of a denture to fit the implants.
You might want to visit a dental school to see if you could have the procedure done by students. I would not accept undergraduate students' work, but would ask for residents who are already graduates and pursuing specialty training. The cost may be much less, but the time and effort may increase.
Each state has one or more dental schools. It may be worth a call to see if this is a procedure they do and research the possibility for yourself. Also, most dentists who do this work will provide financing that can be spread over 4-6 years, just like a car.
Good luck with this. My best advice is to look for friends first and kissing later.
Corinne Scalzitti, DMD, MAGD
Austin Reconstructive Implant Dentistry
3900 RR 620 South
Austin, Texas TX 78738
(512) 263-3330
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